1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 [ Next 10]
# 78
Lawyer and St.Peter
A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. But, to his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was, and greeted him warmly. Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided him up to the front of the line, and into a comfortable chair by his desk. The lawyer said, "I don't mind all this attention, but what makes me so special?" St. Peter replied, "Well, I've added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and by my calculation you must be about 193 years old!"

 
# 79
A lesson to learn!
An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA when the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of -ese are you?" The Japanese confused, replied, "Sorry but I don't understand what you mean." The American repeated, "What kind of -ese are you ?" Again, the Japanese was confused over the question. The American, now irritated, then yelled, "What kind of -ese are you...Are you a Chinese, Japanese,Vietnamese, etc......" The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am a Japanese." A while later the Japanese turned to the Americans and asked what kind of '-key' was he. The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of '-key' am I ?!" The Japanese said, "Are you a monkey, donkey or a Yankee?"

 
# 80
Arm Logic
A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb." "Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses." The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.

 
# 81
Mom's Secret
One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly notices that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looks at her mother and inquisitively asks, "Why are some of your hairs white, mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while, and then said, "Momma, how come *all* of grandma's hairs are white?"

 
# 82
Love To Quarrel.
Once, a couple living in our neighbourhood was found quarrelling among themselves quiet often. One day my neighbour Mr. Sharma asked Mr. Gupta why they quarrelled so much. Mr. Gupta replied that he and his wife enjoyed quarrelling and getting angry. Mr. Sharma was astonished and asked Mr. Gupta to explain. He said that during quarrelling his wife throws the rolling pin at him and if it hits, then she is happy and if it happens to miss then he is happy and taunts her over her failure.

 
# 83
Upper Deck
Once Santa and Banta Singh happened to be together in Delhi. Having excusrsion tickets, they boarded a DTC doubledecker. Banta Singh finding no vaccant seat in the lower deck, went to the upper deck and took a seat. He was surprised to see that there was no driver in the upper deck. Showing his anxiety, he asked Santa Singh if there was a driver in the lower deck. Promptly came the reply that there was indeed a driver. Banta Singh then said "Utte te wahe guru challanda pia hai". (God is driving this upper deck himself)

 
# 84
Successful Husband & Wife
A successful husband is one who earns more money than his wife can spend. A successful wife is one who can find such a husband.

 
# 85
What's in a name ?
Customer: "Waiter! I asked for Alu Paratha but I find no potatoes in it!" Waiter: "What's in a name Sir! If you ask for Kashmiri Pulav, will you expect to find Kashmir in it?"

 
# 86
Watch
Once two friends were boasting about themselves. Banta Singh: "Once my grandfather's wrist-watch fell into a well. When it was pulled out after thirty years it was still running." Santa Singh: "So what is so great about it? Once my grandfather himself fell into a well, and after thirty years when he was taken out, he was still alive." Banta Singh: "How can that be possible? What was he doing on the well for thirty years?" Santa Singh: "Why not? He was winding your grandfather's wrist-watch."

 
# 87

Sardar Tehl Singh, an emigrant in Canada, earned enough money to buy himself a brand new car. He drove out of sales depot with an L-plate on the car. As the car zig-zagged down the main highway, a traffic cop picked him up "Why are you going from one side of the road to another?" he demanded. "I am learning how to drive," replied Tehl Singh. "You have to have a driving teacher beside you. May I see your licence?" Tehl Singh pulled out an envelope from his pocket and replied, "Here, I am learning driving by correspondence."

 
Page 8 of 54    Total found: 536